To many bills and not enough $: How to make it work?

    My Mission:  Try to figure out how I can afford to be a Stay-at-Mom.  I definitely love my kids and cherish every second I get to spend with them, so being able to stay home and be involved in all aspects of their life is something I would love to do. 
     I have always had to work, and have missed plenty of in school and after school functions because of my work schedule.  Almost a year ago my employer of almost 4 years laid me off and I am finding the silver lining in the situation and realizing I am much better off.  That being said I have been able to collect unemployment for the past 10 months but  it is soon running out and my husband is panicking about what were going to do when it does. 
So I have been applying to countless jobs and have interviewed for quite a few, but I cannot find anything that will pay me enough to pay daycare or if it pays well the hours are impossible to work with daycare.  My husbands job keeps him working all hours sometimes so I cannot depend on him to pick the kids up, its up to me.  We don't have any family that is available or close enough to help either so again, its up to me.  The stress of daycare and the rejection from employers has taken its toll on my confidence and has truly made me feel like a loser.  I don't want my husband to feel over stressed about finances because his wife is unemployable.  What to do?  Needless to say I've reached my breaking point and am done applying and being rejected by employers.  I'm going to take it as a hint from above that maybe I'm meant to stay home with my kids.  This means I have to figure out how we are going to afford the lack of income and convince my husband it will work.  I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it.  I have although started the terrifying task of figuring out my financial limitations if I'm not working and come up with a few ideas of HOW we may be able to make my un-employability work for us.

•  Couponing:  I have decided that couponing can help me save money so I can afford to stay home.  This is proving exhausting.  It is a very overwhelming task to begin something that I have no idea of where to even begin.  My brain hurts already. 
• I found this awesome website The Coupon Project in my search for help with all the coupon craziness and wanted to share it with you.  She even has this great savings tracker that I am totally planning on implementing into my life. Here is the link! http://thecouponproject.com/downloads/savings-tracker
• Grocery Planning:  Planning your meals, whether weekly or monthly can help cut down on those every other day stopping at the local market.  We stop for a few things and end up spending a small fortune every time.  If we can cut that out of our routine by planning our meals ahead of time, making sure I bought everything necessary for those meals at the time of grocery shopping we can really make a dent in our spending...I hope!
•  Excel:  I think having my husband create an excel file that we can use to keep track and budget our income will help us both see where the money is going and keep on the path of not over spending.  I also want to keep an excel spreadsheet of our grocery shopping so we can see where were saving so I won't give up the exhausting work of couponing.
• Saying NO:  This is going to be hard for me.  I hate telling people no.  I never want to say no to my kids or friends when were asked to do things, but I need to start.  I need to stay within our budget which on one income doesn't leave a lot of room for extra money ventures that aren't planned out. This will be my biggest struggle.
• Planning Ahead:  This will my 2nd biggest struggle.  I tend to be a very unorganized person so planning isn't really my forte.  I tend to be a fly by the seat of my pants gal, which doesn't work with a budget.  I have to start planning out gas money each week so I need to be cautious of not using more by unnecessary driving because I'm unorganized.  I need to plan visits with friends and grocery shopping so I can budget the extra gas into that week.  I drive my children to and from school because we do school of choice since we moved out of the district.  It definitely takes a toll on our budget but I will not sacrifice their education and relationships with friends they have been building for my budget.  I will just have to spend less time driving other places. 

Many times like this one right now I feel like getting a glass wine, a fluffy pillow and finding a dark place where I can just hide from this world of adulthood that I so completely suck at.  I feel a tightening in my chest and shortness of breath even as I write these ideas down because it all feels so overwhelming to me.  I give up easily because of the overwhelming pressure I feel of failing at well everything.  I miss more then words can express the joy of  being young and carefree and irresponsible and some days I allow myself to be that kid again, which is not a mature thing for me to do I know.  How can I teach my kids to be responsible grown ups if I'm not one?  I have no idea, but I'm working on it and am hopeful that even this adolescent coma mama can one day grow up.

Wish me Luck,

Agent M